It's all about the change! Really? what if it's about evolution to the best version that you can become and nothing more. You cannot overcome the maximum you can be and you need to make peace with that. Or what if it's about introspection and change and change and change and change...
Two different perspectives, or the same perspective on life and a personal note on how you express it. When you talk about yourself I dare to say that both of them are equally accepted although if you focus on this aspect you will miss out on the actual living part of your life. The issue, the unpleasant situation appears when you are expecting or asking for the change of others. And this is your problem, not their problem.
An old saying in my country says that the man marries the woman hoping she will never change and the woman marries the man hoping he will change, they are both wrong and both of them will be disappointed. Disappointed as long as they focus on this and if you have a look at the number of divorces you will understand that more and more are focusing on this. And in the end that extraordinary punchline "he/she change" makes its appearance closing the stage and making room for a new hopeful one.
We all have some moments in our lives when we say that we need to change, or we should have, and most often this is after some life-changing events. What if we would open our eyes, look around us and decide some changes in our behavior based on what we see. I am thinking about this as it's really stupid to make life-changing decisions only after something bad happens to you.
And now I said "change" when in fact is evolution, hence the idea is to never go back to the old ways while a change implies that you could go back if you want to.
What if we would stop procrastinating and we would do for us a list with pro's and con's and we would just action on it and we would take responsibility for our decisions. For sure following a course of action like this, you will have an evolution, and I will not enter into the debate regarding the direction. Involution or evolution depends on the perspective or if you are simple-minded you will call it to change as you need for yourself that safety net that you could revert back. This brings us to a modern-day society issue, people are no longer assumed. Less and fewer people don't want to take responsibility for their decisions. If it is something related to their plans and needs they will procrastinate till forever waiting for that outside validation so that they have who to blame if things go bad, if things go good don't worry they will not say thank you as it was their decision, right?
I, myself I am in the same place from time to time but I am working on it. For example, I just took my driving license for like 3 months and every time when I am driving with somebody in the car I am looking for their validation or comments just to be sure that I am doing ok. The other night I came home quite late and I couldn't find a parking place, after 15 minutes of going in circles I found one not so ok, next to a crosswalk. Although in my mind, I was like yes this is ok I am next to the crosswalk I am not bothering anybody, this is a good spot, I still wrote to one of my friends asking him if he thinks that it's ok where I parked the car and just to understand the level of stupidness I waited in the car like 10 minutes for him to answer. It's not like I will go to him if they toe my car, it's not like he will pay the fine if I get one. My decision, my responsibility, and if really thought about it and took it why did I still look for that validation? We are all doing shit like this but the only difference is how fast we become aware of it and try to control it.
Coming back to one of the ideas exposed at the beginning of this post, we should stop expecting others to change. If we really care about them we should really hope and support them towards evolution even if that doesn't include us. Selfishness doesn't have any place here. What if we would focus on the person next to us and realize that they can evolve to become the best version of themselves and if it is meant to be we would still be in the picture. To realize when they reached the maximum of who they are and just accept them or leave. Waiting or asking for a change will only hurt us as we are the ones with phantasmagoric expectations. Maybe the person next to you will try to please you for a while but it will be just an act, done with all his/her heart but still an act and soon enough they will be them. Guess who will be disappointed? you! also the person next to you because they tried but it was out of their hands as we cannot change for somebody else, we cannot evolve for somebody else.
Evolution (or change) it's a selfish act never try doing it for somebody else. Take responsibility for your actions and do whatever takes you there for you, not for your family, friends, or the person next to you. Love it's an act of acceptance above all as love is a choice. Self-love is a must that each one does different. Don't get me wrong, I am not militating for being selfish and hurting the people around us, we should always pay attention to the ones around us and try every day, every hour, every minute, every second to make them happy and nourish their feelings. The idea is to watch out for our expectations and realize they are bad for us first of all.
Equilibrium and the rest will come!
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