dating part 2

So this was a long time coming :) at least for me as I had so much stuff gathered that were just waiting to be written down. I am not necessarily happy with the tile but somehow there is a connection. If till now I was just taking some time and I was starting to write, this time is different as I gathered all the small posts I had written on my phone or longer ones that I have written on the remarkable. Chaos and most probably impossible to understand but the short stories delight or jump on your nerves. I have started quite a few times writing the second part and every time with a different tone idea. Why didn't I ever finish (joke: good guys always finish last) well I met someone then I fell in love with somebody else and then I met somebody else and I was focusing my thoughts and presence there and on the other projects I have going on. But hey, that's life so now, being single it's the moment to gather all those bits and pieces under one roof and complete it with what I remember.

Fun fact: the first part "dating" got almost 1000 views and a lot of messages on Facebook and Instagram. Some love, some hate, and again some love, and some frustrations. For a dude that writes for him mainly and for whomever wants to read, without having a target audience this is really nice, especially that I am writing here which is so old, right? 

If you don't like it just close the window, if you read it and pissed you off, gooooood, that's something to think about or at least that's what I am doing in my everyday journey in trying to become a better person.

Of course, my previous post was from the male perspective, genius yeah you, as I am a man although I am pretty sure I have tried to put myself in the other shoes. Now I will take advantage of the fantastic resource called my friends as I have a few women friends with whom along the time I discussed dating and also I was raised by 2 strong fantastic women.

Also, I might repeat myself but as I always said I am not reading what I am writing, I am not an elephant soooooooo I don't remember everything line by line, and if I am not sure I will write it again :).

I heard a huge number of stories from women that the guys they dated were not so exciting as in the online chat, that the date went awful and then they were really shady close to psychopaths and they started showing up in front of their house once they were told that they will not date again. In my honest opinion, these guys should be isolated and have their balls tased but it happens. And I have just a simple question, why the f*** do you ask (in most cases) or accept to be picked up from home (your personal space) by a total stranger? ladies ladies at least wait to have a date and see how he behaves and afterward, if it's the case he could take you home. Yes it's not normal but it happens; it's just like with the money you keep them in the bank because it's not safe to keep them under your mattress.

The selection process to date it's awful for both women and men so the logical conclusion is that both sides suck big time but I don't think so and I will try to express my point in the following mini stories. Also, I am a firm believer that assholes will find their way to assholes (I don't know the female equivalent), cheaters will find cheaters, and good people will find good people. The whole idea is to open and refine your selection process. It's not a solution to be stupid and after you had a couple of bad experiences to decide to stay alone and label everybody as being the same as you are sabotaging yourself big time. It's not a solution to become a shitty person just because somebody else was shitty to you and so on, you get the idea. Today's add to this, the chances that the above happens are getting thinner and thinner if you ask me but hey that's why at the bottom of the box the only one remaining was HOPE.

Lately, on social media, there is a trend in which females film a bouquet of flowers and then say what a man sees - her smile when she gets them and then they film themselves who they take care of those flowers and smell them every day and rearrange them - what a man doesn't see. Very nice. Like I said in the previous post I dated a lot ( not because I am picky but because I know what I want, but this is another topic) and I cannot even tell you how many women just forgot the flower on the table and they were amazed why we don't date the second time. And then you have the multitude of women that have at least 1 picture with them and a giant bouquet of roses. Ladies (I better say girls) only a man that wants fo just f*** you will enter that competition and bring you a bigger bouquet. Yes men are genetically built and they are motivated by competition but not when it comes to a woman he looks at as a good woman that he wants to introduce to his mother, in this situation a man will either ignore this if you have many other qualities that he saw in you or he will just move away in his search of a good woman. I said it so many times, men, are simple creatures; we compete when it's just about the body count otherwise we provide trust and we don't want to live with the idea that maybe somebody else is better, we want to be better for you, we want to conquer you every day just because we love you not out of fear. 

And here opens the door to this principle that seems lost in our days: value the effort that is being done for you not because they might lose you, there's a big difference. There is a old saying that when they feel a relationship goes to shit the man proposes while the woman has a baby. STUPID !!! value what it's honestly done for you from the heart not what's done out of fear. HUGE DIFFERENCE.

A girl was telling the story of how she met a guy online and he seemed very nice and all so they dated. everything was exceptionally good (as she said), " he took me to an expensive restaurant on the first date, brought a huge bouquet of flowers, awesome. They dated for a week and everything was really really nice. One week later from the first date, she invited him to her place. Honestly, if you're not both under 20-something i don't see why would you do that, ladies leave aside the masculine energy a bit. He said yes, and they went home and had an awesome round of sex after which he jumped out of bed spotted herm called her a f****** prostitute and he left. I will not even judge here as no matter the context it's not ok to do something like that so honestly he should be hunted down the street by several women with crossbows who shoot arrows up his ass at every step. Piece of s***. 

I dated once, I repeat once, a girl who was working in the video chat industry. Why? curiosity and to be honest the conversation went really nice online. Basic questions bla bla, we got to what each one of us wants from life and from a partner. Stupid me started saying stuff like loyalty, respect, support, love, family values. Then her turn came, and no word about values, principles, or other meaningless stuff like this, I am ironic, she directly said that she was looking for a man who earns more than her and would spoil her. End. I was shocked so I asked, ok ok but some human characteristics not only the material ones? Ah yes normally he should be tall (checked) and good-looking (I don't know what to say but i think she had some problems with her eyes and too much screen time). It was clear that the data was ending there but naive as I am (or too opinionated) I had to say my peace: if I take 2 extra jobs and still I will not be able to earn in a year how much you earn in 3 months and honestly, that amount of wealth it's held by less than 1% of earth population so good luck with that. Her answer was, well I don't plan on having a relationship or marrying a brokee :)) Needless to say she was somewhere around 35 and she was so sure that she will get married and have babies one day. Good Luck.

And now let me guess all the moral people will jump to conclusions and say well hey what did you expect? honestly, I was raised to treat everybody no matter the occupation with respect and I am a firm believer that each one of us makes better or worse decisions in our life based on the context we find ourselves, so if you don't know the story don't judge till proven otherwise.

On the topic, there is a young girl influencer from a neighboring country who besides serving as a really bad model lately started being spotted in Dubai in the company of rich old people and she is bragging about the presents she gets. Sad? yes Is her mother the one filming all of her online content? yes Does she have more than 4 million followers? yes, but then again like the feminists say her body - her choice. I will not even draw any conclusions here besides, please raise your daughters better. On this feminist line, I must say that I find it so sad that so many impressive women (real ladies) fought in history so that women get rights and equal opportunities and unfortunately more and more of their followers choose prostitution as a career.

Talking with many of my female friends over time, after they passed the deep criteria based on which they select the man (he shouldn't be rich but he should have enough for a restaurant - no park dates, he shouldn't live with his parents - it seems this is a common thing :(, he should be tall, he should have a car and so on) they reached a very sad and concerning thing saying that men no longer open the restaurant/car door, men no longer bring flowers, men no longer make compliments, men no longer hold chairs. Again, stupid me, asked but why do you date them, enter in relationships with them if they don't do these things that you clearly crave? "Oh, well, it's not like you cannot live without these things". SAD. Although I might sound misogynistic ladies this is your fault, if you would stick by your values, principles, and human needs not material stuff you would educate men and they will be better for you or the next one, but better. This means feminism ;).

My father didn't have a car when he met my mother and most probably your dad didn't have one also when he met your mother and that's why their marriages hold and your relationships don't. This applies for both sexes on different parts as this is not only about cars. My father didn't have his home when he met my mother and most probably your dad didn't have one also when he met your mother. And I could continue a lot here but the moral of the story is that people were looking at people not at what they have. 

In my country, we have a lot of jokes about BMW owners (that target MERCEDES and AUDI owners also) as out of the desire to look rich they buy very old and cheap cars that break down a lot but they look rich. Society makes jokes but still values and looks at them as people with financial potency. I remember many years ago I went on a trip to the western part of the country and I met a boy who worked abroad in agriculture in order to gather money to renovate his 1 room house and he was planning to go again the next season in order to buy a cheap BMW (3-4 thousand). Nothing bad except the final reason, I must buy this type of car otherwise none of the girls in the village look at me and they consider me poor, this is what we all do here. And i was just wondering why girls who didn't have anything also wanted boys who had things that their fathers accomplished in their 50's? Later on in life, I understood. From here I split it into one story and one social conclusion.

I live in a weird space, a Latin country surrounded by Slavic countries, with an interesting mix in our culture between Western European appetite and culture, oriental influences, and Slavic behavior. We are so mixed and this makes us somehow complicated but simple at the same time and you might wonder what's the connection?

I understood that basically in our society women want respect, to work, and to have opportunities just like in Western Europe till it comes to that equality that they have there, and here comes the catch because here they want equality but the men to earn more. Some want it like this while others pick up slackers and give them money for cigars and gambling. And other on purpose search for men with lower income and lower career opportunities so that they feel in charge and control them. And here comes the strong Slavic influence in which they don't work and just want a provider and spend their 20's in this search some are lucky but most of them end up with a shitty job and one holiday per year on the terrace of Dubai Mall in the search of that provider. The mix with oriental here is that the parents tell them to choose the one that pays for their rent or something else and they look for him to look good also. As time passes parents insist on getting married and finding someone for you, if he has doesn't matter the character or the looks, he must take care of you. And this comes from the fact hat they lived in very poor times and you might say that they want what's best for their kids but they are wrong because they forget what built their marriage. PARTNERSHIP based on common values with a lot of struggle but also a lot of happiness.

And so a lot of the boys and girls get married they have a kid and they divorce as the foundation was never there.

So you see, our society is rotten deep down.

Parents that came from nothing provide for their kids and teach them that normality is to have. They buy homes and cars for their kids because they didn't have but in the process, they teach them that this is normal to have. Where is the work, where is the personal accomplishment when everything is being given to one on a plate? The result is no responsibility and no respect towards the ones that make it on their own. In our country, we have a saying that the parents' home is never to be sold but guess what all these kids will do once you're gone.

A while back I matched with a woman on a dating app who had in her bio that she appreciates a good gentleman and I was curious. I know one of these days my curiosity will kill me. After exchanging a few lines with her I asked what means a gentleman for her? Her answer: " A man that can provide and fulfill all his women's needs" :)) I tried searching for the code of good manners and sent her the link but no luck :( so I continued the conversation trying to find out if she was looking for anything else in a man like respecting her, not cheating on her, and so on but no luck she picked on my question calling me a cheap person. I felt offended therefore I replied by saying ok I can provide but this means that if we get together I can do whatever I want to which she replied no and finally started enumerating those important core values. After this, I asked why didn't she tell me this in the beginning when I asked as these are more important values. She replied that these are in second place as importance. I dared try to reach a moral lesson by telling her that unfortunately, we are both on the same dating app alone and clearly she should change her criteria if she is alone. " No worries honey I have a lot of admirers" why don't you date any of them? "Because they are not true gentlemen. UNMATCH before I could say anything else so no luck in trying to change a mindset.

A while back i dated a girl, she was dreaming about a family kids, and everything nice. Although she was almost 38 she was very proud that she never used the kitchen in her home and that her mother was cooking still bringing her food every other day. Her expectation was that when she will find that man they will hire somebody to cook for them and the kids. Her parents bought her the house and the first car that she sold and with the money she gathered, bought an AUDI. While she was spending all her money on travel and clubs. It's easy to spend all your money on trips and say that travel is your passion ( very popular in my country) when you have zero responsibilities. We have 2 very popular influencers who made a similar popular joke that they cannot date a man with SKODA OCTAVIA (very specific I know) as that is not a man or he is a sad man. Guess what car do I have? :))

Coming back to the story, now that you have the context. We went on the first date and when we left I offered myself to drive her home, and she accepted. While talking in the car after I told her that I had my driving license for only 2 years she replied the following: "Oh, that explains the car then, after you get more experience you will want a quality and more comfortable car." :)) 2 days later we dated again (I know I am a masochist but by this point, I was already curious) but that day I was at the car wash and they moved the chairs. When she got in she started searching for the lever to push her chair back, after a couple of minutes in which I enjoyed the show I told her that she has electric controls on the side. Her reply: "Ah, haha, at my car even the driver seat has a manual lever". There was no 3rd date.

The moral of the story is that here we value more appearance and how people look at us instead of how we are feeling. It's important what somebody has not who somebody is.

I was looking a while back at 3 couples of friends who were going through a divorce at the same time. All 3 marriages with verbal and physical abuse over the years but guess what, the woman never left, and in all 3 cases, the boy (sorry but I cannot call a man a person who measures his power with a woman) was the one who decided on the split and asked for the divorce. I must admit that this left me wondering for a while what is the point in being polite and being a good person if the secret is this? Especially when in our fucked up society you hear women saying stuff like " She was asking for it" or "Some women really deserve it" and mothers giving advice like "The man will cheat, maybe hit you sometimes but if he comes home and takes care of the family you must stay there". People. people, WTF is wrong with you this is not OK. I cannot stress enough the importance of education as this is visible now and these people have kids of their own who in 10 -15 years they will date with even fucked up values (sorry non-values).

Don't get me wrong I've met meet women with morals also but unfortunately in our society, they pale and they are not valued, and most of the time they settle for shit and end up changing for the worse.

For almost 3 years on every date, I have a question that I always ask on the first date: When did your last relation end? ( please pay attention as I am saying relation not stating which type). I was told that women ask this also in order to find out and judge if the respective man is emotionally available as they are referring to a romantic relationship. 

Short story: a friend of mine started dating this woman and when he asked the above she said that she divorced almost 2 years ago. when the ex-husband started making midnight calls and so on he asked what was wrong with the dude that after 2 years he was making this shit. Her answer was: actually I divorced 6 months ago and actually and we just separated not divorced yet.

A short statement from the feminine side: always in my life I have found my next relationship while I was in the current one but it was ending anyway.

Back to me and my question as most of the time I received answers like 2 years, 6 months, 3 years, 10 months, and so on. Till I started asking extra: so you tell me that you haven't had sex since 2 or 3 years ago or 6 months and so on depending on the case. Every time the answer to this second question was: Oh no no, I had several other relationships but not romantic ones or I have a fuck buddy, and bla bla. I thought you were asking about my last romantic relationship. :))) No, I asked about a relation any relation as I want to know how many people are we going to be at least in the beginning.:))) some were honest and the answers received were like this:

- aaaaaaaaa i met with my fuck buddy this morning

- aaaaaaaaa i was dating somebody for the past 1 month till last evening

- aaaaaaaa i had a fuck buddy till 1 month ago

- aaaaaaaa i had a one-night stand 2 nights ago

- aaaaaaaa i ended the last relationship 1 year ago but it was a long relationship and we still seen each other till last month

- aaaaaaaaa i ended the last relationship 6 months ago but he is a great person and we are really good friends now

Why do I want to know this? Oh well:

- if the other dude fell in love he will try to get back with you

- the other dude will send flowers, you will think they are from me and you will call me to thank me, awkward moment

- the other dude will call your phone while we are making love, awkward moment

- I am at your place and the other dude comes by with flowers and cookies trying to get you back and I am there, awkward moment

- and my favorite all time is that these dudes really have a lot of time on their hands and they start stalking my social media every f**** time and this is how I know that it's fresh stuff

They are not to blame from my perspective and you have my trust 100% from the start and if I catch feelings I will suffer and if it was a long relationship over there after you have some fun with me for a while you will go back to him and I will suffer again.

The shitty thing is that people don't admit relationships and they invented all other terms like situanioship, fuckfriends, just friends, and so on when honesty saves everybody's time and means kindness towards other persons hearts. I, myself if we kissed I am there 100% if we have sex we are clearly in a relationship and I want to build with you as I said from the start that I date to marry not for fun. You cannot pass through life either a woman or a man erasing people from your history that's called lying and lies have short legs, always.

So you see we have a severe lack of morality or a pandemic of selfishness. Sex has become so meaningless and people forget that sex can be beautiful and an experience once the connection is created and is being built. No, we have sex once or a few times and that's it because we see something that for sure we don't like. How do fuck did we reach the point in which we feel more comfortable to suck each other intimate parts but we don't feel comfortable talking. Everybody is afraid of communication but they are not afraid of STD's, imagine that.

Communication builds relationships, and honesty makes relationships strong. Short or long they are all relationships because if you walk down the street and you bump into your parents by accident you will not introduce the person next to you as your situation, or your fuck buddy but as your girlfriend/boyfriend. For the ones searching for the loophole, no, you cannot say a friend because you don't fuck with friends.

A few weeks ago I went to a club in the expensive area of my hometown where you can find girls that barely afford the Uber searching for men with money who are being hunted by the leasing companies to take their cars back for non-payment. But this is not about this now because I think I can write a lot about this area and the people who want to act rich with an empty belly. Although it was a super nice evening the only thing that was stamped on my memory was a young girl, maybe in her early 20's. with an old man, maybe in his 50's. By looking at her you could tell that she wasn't enjoying herself too much. Then a second old man came and they were both touching her all over her body. She was smiling at them and touching the back till a certain point when she turned her face towards the stage and she had the emptiest and saddest look I had ever seen in my life. For what you poor girl? for what? no amount of money will ever fill the void in your heart.

I was thinking of apologizing but if somebody feels offended, good, maybe you will realize something and make a change in your life or in the education you offer your kids. If not you can unfollow, or unfriend me as I know that truth hurts every f**** time but also once is settles it changes mindsets.

soul food

Realized a couple of days ago just before my birthday that I wrote more about things, situations, and behaviors that are somehow worrying and might come as sad. Every time I am keeping the hope alive but still. And this is from what I remember as this happens when you never read what you write. You might have misspellings or you might offend or come by as too honest. I still believe that the truth offends but is necessary and all my life this is what I asked from people although like the saying goes: you cannot ask expensive things from cheap people. Oh damn, here I go again. Sometimes I think that this works as a form of therapy and you need an outlet when you are constantly trying to protect other's feelings instead of giving them the hard truth, and working on it. Other times I really don't care I write down the things I see, the things I hear, the things I live and I am just expressing my opinions. But there are people who read what I write down and even write back to me, some identify themselves and are happy that finally, somebody said it, while others feel offended, and if you identify and feel offended then it means you're doing that shitty thing, and so on. 

Double damn, I started with the idea to write about beautiful things that happened around me or I heard or I lived and to feed that hope that keeps us going. So I need to get back to it although I have on the bad side a lot, but maybe next time.

Short stories that I call food for the soul or hope enhancers. Of course with my conclusion after each as everybody is crazy these days about lessons that life gives them, old scholars who don't take responsibility for their actions.

I started writing with the intention of writing about the last few weeks of my life and the situations I experienced plus the not-so for my soul birthday. Realized I would be harsh again and after seeing a marriage proposal (one of the short stories to follow) I decided to write short stories for the soul. Although some of them might not have an end, this is because I don't know it or the end is not so happy so I will not share it as life is full of surprises and they might just turn out to be happy after all.

The first story that came to my mind dates back almost 18 years. At that time I was working as a tourist guide in Turkey-Marmaris. One day, as usual, I picked up a bus full of people from the airport but among the 50 people, I spotted a couple over 60 years old. what caught my attention was the way they were holding their hands, how softly they were talking to each other, and the way they were looking at each other. He was so calm and thoughtful with her, the real definition of a gentleman not what people think it is today. She was the true definition of a lady from the way she was walking to every small gesture. I was talking on the mic about Turkey, about the city of Marmaris but somehow I couldn't get my eyes off them and I couldn't wait to drop off everybody at their hotels in order to start my tour and to reach their hotel. I arranged it so that I left them the last ones to visit and talk about the excursions and around 9 PM I reached them. We talked over a bottle of wine till late in the night. They were on their honeymoon, and I thought it was something like an anniversary and they were joking but then they started telling me their story. They met right after high school and they were together for a month and something they both fell in love, unfortunately, her family and her friends were raining on her parade as he was working in a factory while she was in university so therefore he was not suitable financially. She listened to everybody around her but not to her soul and decided to break up and they never saw each other again. They both carried on with their life, got married, had kids and now they were already grandparents and everything settled and ok in their life. 40 years later they met accidentally in the market while they were doing groceries, I was shocked to think that it was possible to recognize somebody after 40 years but they were living proof. They talked for more than an hour, they exchanged their phone numbers and they parted ways, each one heading back home to their families. 2 days later he texted her asking if they could meet again, in the market, without thinking twice she accepted and after this, let's call it a date, they both decided that they acted against their own hearts all their life and that now is the moment to fix this and get together. Each of them went home talked with their partners and kids, and told them they wanted to divorce as fast as possible. Here they told me the full story and all the comments they received from their partners and from their kids and the lack of support. It stuck with me her comment towards her daughter and her son and it was something like this if I recall it well: " I had a wonderful life with your father and he gave me the most beautiful presents somebody could receive but i never listened to my heart". 31 days later they were getting married ( when you divorce you need to wait 30 days) and this was their honeymoon.

Love always wins in the end, too bad that it wins in the end and we live our lives thinking we have forever and making decisions on any other criteria than the voice of our heart. Although I have a handicapped heart I still believe that the heart is the strongest part of us and what makes us beautiful.

Last weekend I went to the mountains as I needed some fresh air and to relax. Truth be told I was like, I deserve a present from me to me. Although I was recently told that I value too much my own birthday. On Friday evening I drove to belvedere point and i was simply amazed by the colors of the sky and starstruck by the amount of stars that were in the sky. I tried spotting at least one falling star to make a wish but no luck in finding luck 🤣. The next morning I found out that all those colors in the sky were actually the aurora that due to a cosmic event was visible from Romania. During the day I took the cable car to the top of the mountain where to my surprise there was a gentleman singing at the cello. Just close your eyes and imagine that you are on top of a mountain and somebody is singing at a cello. The cherry on top of the cake when he started singing Frank Sinatra's My Way, AMAZING. I decided to stay a while when right in front of my eyes love unraveled. A boy, with the help of his friends, proposed to his girlfriend. The most wonderful gesture between 2 souls can be done in a simple way also and guess what? It's even more wonderful. At least if you value the meaning not the rock or the place but the person you have in front of you.

Beauty can be found everywhere when you least expect it. Music, the right music will always set your soul on fire. Love is simple, love is beautiful, and there is no place for a price tag on love.

The parallel magic or how God decides to make 2 souls see each other. They say that you cannot find good people in a club but the 2 persons in the story somehow did it. She went to the club without any plans besides dancing and having a drink. He went to the club without any plans besides dancing and having a drink. But their sights crossed, and crossed again and again. She noticed him and he noticed her but none of them made any moves not even a smile or a wink 😉. Fortune favors the brave but since none of them was looking none of them was brave. Their luck was her friend who approached him and pushed him to talk with her. So he did, they exchanged a few words and the only coherent thing he was able to say was to ask for her contact. Then 🪄 ✨ 🪄 ✨ 🪄 magic happened, they hugged and time stopped, all the people around them disappeared, and the music turned silent like everything worked for that one endless hug. That was it they said goodbye without any thought that they would see each other again. The next day he reached out, they dated and their first date went by like time didn't exist and it ended with a hug like both of them wanted to double-check the magic. Their relationship started and in no time she was telling him my love and just as fast in one evening he whispered to her that he had fallen in love. In just 2 weeks they've found peace in each other and they were promising each other that together they will do everything possible and above all and simply they will be HAPPY.

Their story shows that there is hope and that magic can happen at the most unexpected moments in the most unexpected places. I really think that the secret lies in having the courage to have your heart opened and really look in somebody's eyes. LOVE still happens.

I try as much as possible each evening to go to the park and make some steps and I've been doing this for already more than a year in the park close to home. A couple of days to my surprise there was a girl in an alley with a mic and a speaker and she was singing. I stopped and rested for 15 minutes to the tunes of her voice.

Life gives you beautiful moments of peace, and calm it's just up to you to notice the small things, take a break, and enjoy them. Your soul will be grateful.

And the last one, I have many more but somehow I feel that this one should close the post. This evening I wanted to eat an ice cream so I jumped in the car drove there, took some steps, and bought a delicious ice cream. Enjoyed it :) and afterward, I stopped at a coffee shop to smoke a cigar (a rare guilty pleasure).  As I was enjoying my coffee, and my cigar and was writing this post something beautiful happened. At the table next to me, somehow behind my back, a couple came, I would say they were around 30, and by their faces, they weren't in the happiest moment of their life. Without intention ( ok, I admit, with intention) I listened to their conversation. They were both sad and what caught my attention and I want to write about was the following conversation:

Her: you know, I am going through a period and I think we should stop our relationship

Him: did I do something? what happened? Can I help you somehow

Her: no no, you're the sweetest guy and I really like you but...

Him: but what then? if there is something I can help with please let me help you

Her: no no you can't it's just about me and I don't want to talk about it

Him: I don't understand what happened and you know that I love you and it's hard for me to just sit on the side and let you struggle

Her: that's why we should stop because I don't want to hurt you, it's my problem

Him: it's hard for me but I will try to respect your choice. i think you are making a mistake as you should allow me to be there for you but this is what you need I will do my best to respect it.

Her: Yes

Him: please let me finish

- his voice was shaking and her voice was the voice of a person who tries to stop the tears from falling-

Him: I will be just one phone call away at any point, I cannot look at this as a break-up as it is clear that you are going through something and the point of this is to be by your side when it's hard not when it's easy. So I'll wait for you till you figure things out or you need just my presence.

Her: thank you

She kissed his forehead and she left, he paid the check and he also left the other way and I got a glimpse of the tears that started to fall on his cheeks. I wanted to tell him something but what could I have told him in order to make him feel better?

You can look at this as a sad story but I see the beauty in it. You may ask what beauty? if hearts are broken. Love is violent, it feels so good and it hurts so bad, and that is the beauty of it because you cannot have the most exalting sensations without the other side. And I could ramble around this idea for pages but that's not the point. The point is that LOVE is a choice, a choice to stick by a person through good and bad, and this guy tried to do just this with the softest voice possible ever. I really hope she will call him as they seem to have a really deep connection.

Believe in beauty and you will see beauty or at least this is my way just like Frank said. A few years ago in therapy, the therapist said in the closing session: Nic, do you know what's your biggest problem? You feel too much in a world that doesn't want to feel and this consumes you. I would tell you to try and control yourself but I am aware that this would mean that you will no longer be you. Or like a very good friend of mine said "You are emotionally handicapped literally and figuratively " :))). 

And I am proud of it ;)

love/heart

 Throughout history from poets to philosophers, literally everybody tried to find the answer to the eternal question: what is love?

Let me share my 2 cents on it and be one of the many who thought about it and shared their findings.

Love is a choice. God is love. This goes perfectly hand in hand and maybe I should stop here but as simple as it is us people, especially the world today, try not to make it complicated but simply to crush this idea.

This is how stupid we've become and with all social media, quotes, self-proclaimed therapists, and self-proclaimed prophets everybody is working fiercely to convince everybody that solitude is the solution, that there is always somebody better for you, love yourself, play games, have techniques, use people, get rich and bla bla bla.

How and where did we lose the concept that love is the supreme objective in life. Where did we lose the, already abstract, values of respect and loyalty? When did everybody decide to stop working for their relationships and why didn't I get the memo. How cowardly did we become to be that we choose to get away from a person in their hard times? Who decided on the price tag of a soul and said that an expensive car, house, or trip is more valuable. And the list can continue for pages but with every word I write my soul becomes bitter and bitter.

Said it before and will say it again. I was raised by strong women who valued family and love about everything. My father is the pure definition of when life gives you lemons you make a lemonade. He is not rich but he is the richest man in the world, he built a family and he is loved. I know a lot of females and I have quite a few female friends. I've been married and I loved a few times in my life. I made some mistakes. I was chated I was lied to but every time my biggest fear was not to lose my soul and transform into these cold ice cubes that we see walking around every day.

Love is about building together, it's based on respect, and it's about sticking together in the hardest times. Love is about being honest and expressing your emotions and vulnerabilities without any fear. So fucking simple.

You hear and find everywhere books, podcasts, courses, and so on about how to get the girl, and how to get the boy. How about being your true self and allowing a connection to appear without any tricks? How about being honest about what you are looking for? Or how to keep the girl and how to keep the boy. How about being fully open and communicating what's on your soul?

I am hearing around me, mostly from women, Nic you shouldn't be so open anymore when you are entering a relationship. You should be more reserved and stop being available so much. I have a full-time job and 2 businesses on the side ( don't jump to conclusions, I am not rich, I am incredibly far from being worries free), and still when I meet a woman that I am very interested in I am making the time to text her, call her, date her. It seems this is wrong and I should be more unapproachable. Wtf. I went on a lot of first dates because in order to get to a second date I need to feel a spark building there. This happens rarely but when it happens I DECIDE to invest energy and pieces of me there because I am fully aware that this is the only way you can build with somebody. Nic you shouldn't express your emotions you should be more cold, pardon me for being open and expressing the appreciation and feelings that build inside me for a woman. Stop prioritizing the women you like, be busy, or at least act busy. It seems that if you are there for somebody they start losing their interest in you.

Why do you buy the woman you like flowers without a reason? Because I like her, I have feelings for her. But oh wait you've read all the stupid stuff that a man buys flowers if he did something wrong. Or you should buy rarely and big big bouquets of roses so that she can post them on social media. I apologize for spending sometimes my last money just to buy one rose for the smile of the woman I like.

I don't believe in sex roles I believe that we are a team and from the bottom of our hearts we try to bring as many smiles as possible on the faces of each other. If you are working late and I finished earlier i see it normal for me to cook and the other way around. 2 people as a team will always be able to achieve more than 2 individuals. 

There is an extract from an interview with Keanu Reeves in which he is being asked " Are you a lover or a fighter? " and he answers "What kind of love do you have if you don't fight for your love?". Millions and millions of likes but if you look in society you will see and hear that you are a sucker if you fight for your love you should move to the next one, this one doesn't deserve you, this one is toxic. How about opening your fucking soul and listening to it. People make mistakes, people have bad days, people feel lost, and life is hard on all of and that's when you should fight for them be there, be their support. Instead in our days, people move to the next one. Everybody wants easy, cowards and lazy people who wake up later in life realizing what they've missed.

Honesty and communication go a long way and make things beautiful and respectful every time. But no it's better to discuss with a friend or therapist the issues you have with your partner. No, it's better to detach yourself from a relationship. Sorry again but if I have an issue with you you are the first person that I will talk it to as I might have got it wrong. People throw words around, I know that, but look in their eyes and decide for yourself if they say the truth or if you have additional questions but make it clear together. In a world " opened for business" choose loyalty and if it happens to be swiped off your feet by somebody else then this means from the start that you don't want what you already have and out of respect for the other you should go tell them and end things with care for their soul because you never know the harm you could leave behind. If you are in a relationship and you take a break in which you date other people and then come back because you love that person this is called BULLSHIT and it will never last because what made you go away the first time will make you go away the second time also so do your self a favor and either you stay and try to fix it through love and communication either you walk your way.

It's Saturday and tomorrow we have Easter and maybe I should use kinder words but this is the reality and maybe tonight when we all go to the church and take the light we take love also and apply it in our lives. Here in Romania, Bucharest you will find at the Friday evening service of some churches a lot of single women who spent their 20s in clubs with champagne and dudes that changed them for the newer younger model and now in their 30s they realize and they want to change their ways and find somebody. I pray that they all make it but the pattern is already broken and God will send you good men but honestly, I think that the understanding is a bit different on the notion. As good doesn't necessarily mean the same type of men you had before that now choose to stay with you. Then on Sunday, you have some monasteries where both men and women go and pray for a good partner, mostly women, and I am so sure that good listeners and he send their way good people but if you are not really honest and specific in what you want you will mess it up every time. In the Bible, there is only one line on how to choose your partner and it's something like "You should choose the person you could go to war with if needed" This means support, reliability, confidence, respect, and love.

We are all souls wandering the earth searching for other souls, we should choose wisely and we should always treat the ones we meet with kindness because we never know what's left behind us and this world already has too many broken people.

Love is the courage to leave your soul in somebody else's hands knowing that they could break it. Love is the kindness you treat somebody else's soul knowing you have it in your hands.

Simple. No games, no tricks. but each one decides for himself.

I prefer to remain me, a stupid dreamer who lays his soul on a tray hoping that somebody will patch all its wounds with LOVE.