love/heart

 Throughout history from poets to philosophers, literally everybody tried to find the answer to the eternal question: what is love?

Let me share my 2 cents on it and be one of the many who thought about it and shared their findings.

Love is a choice. God is love. This goes perfectly hand in hand and maybe I should stop here but as simple as it is us people, especially the world today, try not to make it complicated but simply to crush this idea.

This is how stupid we've become and with all social media, quotes, self-proclaimed therapists, and self-proclaimed prophets everybody is working fiercely to convince everybody that solitude is the solution, that there is always somebody better for you, love yourself, play games, have techniques, use people, get rich and bla bla bla.

How and where did we lose the concept that love is the supreme objective in life. Where did we lose the, already abstract, values of respect and loyalty? When did everybody decide to stop working for their relationships and why didn't I get the memo. How cowardly did we become to be that we choose to get away from a person in their hard times? Who decided on the price tag of a soul and said that an expensive car, house, or trip is more valuable. And the list can continue for pages but with every word I write my soul becomes bitter and bitter.

Said it before and will say it again. I was raised by strong women who valued family and love about everything. My father is the pure definition of when life gives you lemons you make a lemonade. He is not rich but he is the richest man in the world, he built a family and he is loved. I know a lot of females and I have quite a few female friends. I've been married and I loved a few times in my life. I made some mistakes. I was chated I was lied to but every time my biggest fear was not to lose my soul and transform into these cold ice cubes that we see walking around every day.

Love is about building together, it's based on respect, and it's about sticking together in the hardest times. Love is about being honest and expressing your emotions and vulnerabilities without any fear. So fucking simple.

You hear and find everywhere books, podcasts, courses, and so on about how to get the girl, and how to get the boy. How about being your true self and allowing a connection to appear without any tricks? How about being honest about what you are looking for? Or how to keep the girl and how to keep the boy. How about being fully open and communicating what's on your soul?

I am hearing around me, mostly from women, Nic you shouldn't be so open anymore when you are entering a relationship. You should be more reserved and stop being available so much. I have a full-time job and 2 businesses on the side ( don't jump to conclusions, I am not rich, I am incredibly far from being worries free), and still when I meet a woman that I am very interested in I am making the time to text her, call her, date her. It seems this is wrong and I should be more unapproachable. Wtf. I went on a lot of first dates because in order to get to a second date I need to feel a spark building there. This happens rarely but when it happens I DECIDE to invest energy and pieces of me there because I am fully aware that this is the only way you can build with somebody. Nic you shouldn't express your emotions you should be more cold, pardon me for being open and expressing the appreciation and feelings that build inside me for a woman. Stop prioritizing the women you like, be busy, or at least act busy. It seems that if you are there for somebody they start losing their interest in you.

Why do you buy the woman you like flowers without a reason? Because I like her, I have feelings for her. But oh wait you've read all the stupid stuff that a man buys flowers if he did something wrong. Or you should buy rarely and big big bouquets of roses so that she can post them on social media. I apologize for spending sometimes my last money just to buy one rose for the smile of the woman I like.

I don't believe in sex roles I believe that we are a team and from the bottom of our hearts we try to bring as many smiles as possible on the faces of each other. If you are working late and I finished earlier i see it normal for me to cook and the other way around. 2 people as a team will always be able to achieve more than 2 individuals. 

There is an extract from an interview with Keanu Reeves in which he is being asked " Are you a lover or a fighter? " and he answers "What kind of love do you have if you don't fight for your love?". Millions and millions of likes but if you look in society you will see and hear that you are a sucker if you fight for your love you should move to the next one, this one doesn't deserve you, this one is toxic. How about opening your fucking soul and listening to it. People make mistakes, people have bad days, people feel lost, and life is hard on all of and that's when you should fight for them be there, be their support. Instead in our days, people move to the next one. Everybody wants easy, cowards and lazy people who wake up later in life realizing what they've missed.

Honesty and communication go a long way and make things beautiful and respectful every time. But no it's better to discuss with a friend or therapist the issues you have with your partner. No, it's better to detach yourself from a relationship. Sorry again but if I have an issue with you you are the first person that I will talk it to as I might have got it wrong. People throw words around, I know that, but look in their eyes and decide for yourself if they say the truth or if you have additional questions but make it clear together. In a world " opened for business" choose loyalty and if it happens to be swiped off your feet by somebody else then this means from the start that you don't want what you already have and out of respect for the other you should go tell them and end things with care for their soul because you never know the harm you could leave behind. If you are in a relationship and you take a break in which you date other people and then come back because you love that person this is called BULLSHIT and it will never last because what made you go away the first time will make you go away the second time also so do your self a favor and either you stay and try to fix it through love and communication either you walk your way.

It's Saturday and tomorrow we have Easter and maybe I should use kinder words but this is the reality and maybe tonight when we all go to the church and take the light we take love also and apply it in our lives. Here in Romania, Bucharest you will find at the Friday evening service of some churches a lot of single women who spent their 20s in clubs with champagne and dudes that changed them for the newer younger model and now in their 30s they realize and they want to change their ways and find somebody. I pray that they all make it but the pattern is already broken and God will send you good men but honestly, I think that the understanding is a bit different on the notion. As good doesn't necessarily mean the same type of men you had before that now choose to stay with you. Then on Sunday, you have some monasteries where both men and women go and pray for a good partner, mostly women, and I am so sure that good listeners and he send their way good people but if you are not really honest and specific in what you want you will mess it up every time. In the Bible, there is only one line on how to choose your partner and it's something like "You should choose the person you could go to war with if needed" This means support, reliability, confidence, respect, and love.

We are all souls wandering the earth searching for other souls, we should choose wisely and we should always treat the ones we meet with kindness because we never know what's left behind us and this world already has too many broken people.

Love is the courage to leave your soul in somebody else's hands knowing that they could break it. Love is the kindness you treat somebody else's soul knowing you have it in your hands.

Simple. No games, no tricks. but each one decides for himself.

I prefer to remain me, a stupid dreamer who lays his soul on a tray hoping that somebody will patch all its wounds with LOVE.