Last night i got carried away by this topic without realizing that it will be a lot to say. A lot to say especially on the relationship part and that's why this section deserved her own post.
So I have my notes from last night, my moody playlist on the background, and for this topic, I am going crazy and I will smoke in the house. Tip: light up a candle also, it absorbs the smoke, and tomorrow morning you will not wake up in a stink hole.
Here it goes!
Relationships,
this part is so confusing. Meaningless ones will come and go
just like water and you will never think about how and why it ended because you
never cared. It ends and that's it, maybe sometimes the other will get carried away very fast, like after one coffee, but it will go away fast so fast.
What happens when you love? nothing good, it ends every time
and hurts the most. The tricky part is that you don't know when it ends as when you should stop, will get back later to this situation. I will allow myself to end with the most beautiful ending of them all
Just to be clear I am talking about love between normal people according to my standards. People who respect, support, and care for each other. I know some examples of couples that are offending each other as a sport and that is their style but I totally don't understand their type of love in which respect is ignored. I am talking about people who don't cheat although I've met some open-minded couples in my life then again it's beyond my understanding how can you love somebody and share your body or a kiss with others also. Maybe I am fantasizing a bit about the idea of normality and the following ideas, having in mind my experiences of being lied and cheated.
Although this part maybe it deserves a post by itself it's very hard to find a title for it or include it under another topic.
You might be lucky to be smart enough to realize that love is gone and although it will hurt you will choose to walk away. You have 2 crazy options:
- the one in which you look at the other and when you see them upset because of you, you don't care anymore, that's the sign you don't love that person anymore and you must let them be.
- the one in which the other person doesn't respect you anymore doesn't support you anymore, he/she is cheating and although it hurts like hell you find yourself to walk away as it is clear that the other one doesn't love you anymore but he/she is a stupid coward and doesn't have the power to tell it to your face that they don't love you anymore. You see the most difficult for us humans is to be responsible for our decisions especially in these situations, nobody wants to bear the responsibility of the one that chooses to end it. If you find yourself in this position and what the other did is causing a greater pain than losing him/her than it's clear. Don't rush I dear to say. Also, I know, and did it myself also, people that forgive and try more just because something there it's worth saving for them and it's ok. As long as you are ok with it and you don't use it as a bargaining chip and you leave it in the past and you both continue fresh with a silent agreement then it's ok. Don't let society or your friends or your family or anyone tell you went to stay and when to leave. Have in mind that everybody shares their opinion based on their experience and frustrations.
And (drum sound) the fucked up situation when it ends due to any other reason than the core ones mentioned above. And just to make it more interesting you love the other but you don't know if they still love you. You want to get back together but they don't. And the cherry on top you want to get back together, they don't but they aren't telling you this straight forward as you chose a good person hopefully and they don't want to hurt you even more and they just wait for you to move on. Sounds awesome right? Well nobody knows as on the other side you have a person just like you, with a mind and would of their own in which unfortunately you cannot see. My honest opinion here is that if you really love her/him then you should keep trying to win her/him back no matter the frustration and pain because you might have in the future the most beautiful situation(see below). A saying goes that good things don't come easy, good things take time, and so on.
But still, for how long should you still try? A simple answer would be as long as your heart tells you to but along the way you need to take care of your brain if your heart is already fucked for a while or maybe forever if you found the one. Taking care of your brain means that you should pay attention to some signs from the other side and don't go over the edge. Otherwise saying it, stop it before the other call s the cops :)))) or the ambulance :))))). Trust me I've heard about some crazy people and saw some cucu ones also. I am repeating that I am talking about what I consider normal according to my standards.
Aaaaa the signs? maybe I should give you some examples although they are not relevant but maybe there is something hidden there that might help you.
- captain Obvious: she/he doesn't answer anymore to none of your texts or phone calls
- captain Cronos: she/he answers only when she/he has time, you're no longer a priority
- captain Ignorance: you still talk but only about things that are happening to her/him and your experiences are ignored
- captain Care: you are there for her/him and you offer moral support but when you need the same there is no availability
- captain Help: you offer your help instant to her/him but when you ask for it you are ignored
- captain Life: you find out from here and there that she/he is moving on with their lives and maybe with another person but they don't bother to tell
Plus many more but the army might have some other type of soldiers also that don't help you to much:
- captain Pride: she/he would like to contact but she/he is too proud to make the first move
- captain Confusion: a mix of all the above in both positive and negative way, like the saying, goes " one hot, one cold" (Romanian: una calda, una race).
Nobody knows you will be the only one to know and you might wake up one morning and say it's enough and that's it, it really ends for you also.
The most beautiful situation is when the two become one and they stick together like the glue thru good and bad. They continue to love, respect and support each other until the end. They build each day their life for two at the start and then for them and their kids and their dog and then for their grandchildren and if they are lucky enough for their grand grandchildren also. Life is a bitch and will choose to take one of them sooner leaving the other with the suffering but it will be leavable, you know why? because of all the memories of bad and good times, because of the kids that will visit once in a while, because of the grandchildren that will run around the house bringing back sweet memories of what their love built.
Very important don't judge a possible outcome by your past experiences as we are humans and we change every day and in your front, you have a totally different person from the ones that scared you in the past. One important note here for my future baby girl and my future baby boy, don't fall in the stereotype trap! if I or your mom would have guided our lives on them you two would have never existed. Hopefully, this line someday will make sense and my future wife will look at it, smile, and kiss me.
Never run away from your heart. Good night!
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