That's life and it happens but what if people would really want to make the world a better place someday and they would work also on how they treat each other?
This one will be more about relationships. And the first thing that has to said here is that people lie and they lie and they lie because of their insecurities and fucked up issues that they refuse to fix by visiting a therapist.
According to a study, in our days, about 60% of women search and find their next partner while being in the current relationship. WTF? while the same thing happens with only about 25% of the men. Like seriously, WTF?
Both numbers are bad and nobody should do this as it sucks big time and maybe we should try and treat each other with respect not by cheating because newsflash that's how it is called, cheating.
The expectation is that you meet somebody who is single just like you and that you like each other and you start a relationship. Reality is that they are already in another relationship and you are for a while the 3rd person in that relationship until she/he convinces that you are better so they remain with you. Double cheating alert!
I myself was the 3rd one a few times and every time I founded out about it and tried to confront the person but the discussion transformed into a drama with accusations that I have a bad opinion about them, no shit? Some recognized with apologies and we tried but I should have known that one day I will be in the poor bastard position and I too will be replaced while being there. Others never recognized and I remained with a hunch but time proved me that I was right. Because that's what people do, when confronted with the truth they either run they either attack but they almost never admit.
This is no reason to lose faith in people, you just have to be more cautious around who do you let inside your heart. This is a reason for you to be a better person and never do this shit just because you are insecure. Insecurities can be treated and must be in order to hurt good people.
When you enter a relationship you expect that it will be a partnership and that you are heading towards building something together. Reality is that people have their own agenda and just a few are the people who will be honest about theirs. The rest of them will stay there following their own selfish agenda while you will try to follow a common agenda. You will think about the next vacation together, they will think about their next weekend escape with their friends.
First of all, you need to be true to yourself and if you feel that the other person doesn't fit your future plans or you don't see future plans with them just say so. Be honest about what you want from them, don't waste anybody's time as time is the most valuable present that somebody can ever give you.
I tried all my life to figure this shit out as soon as possible in order not to hurt anybody while others weren't able to give me the same respect. You can only realize what you think and feel and want. It sucks that you cannot know what the other is thinking and this where the frustration appears as you will work for the common good and the other will work for hers/his personal good. Because you see when you get to be in love you will fail in seeing some things and even if you see them you will start inventing excuses for the other just for you to feel better with you. Wake up!!! When it will actually end you will see that not love and honesty were what they were looking for but financial stability and fun and you majestically failed in offering that. The problem with this type of thinking is that is very often present at women and if our mothers would have thought like this then we would have never existed.
Towards the end of a relationship brings the game to a totally different level. It sucks because this end sometimes it can be short and that perfect while some other time it can take weeks, months, or even years. It's all about signs and how you see them. It is psychologically proven that we will have a tendency of causing the other of exactly what we are doing. The other will accuse you of talking with other persons and if you know that this isn't true and you want to prove this they will still not believe you because of their own fears. If you will try to ask the same question in return they will get offended because this is what they are doing. The other will accuse of cheating right when they are cheating because it's easier to find the fault in the other that to admit that you are the one that is having a shitty behavior.
The expectation is that your partner, the person you love, shares the same principles and if something like this will ever occur they will come right to you and apologize or they will end the relationship as they don't want to hurt you. The reality is that nobody will come up front with something like this as they are too coward to admit that they are heating and too scared of telling you something like this. Nobody wants to be looked at as a bitch.
They will end the relationship with you knowing that you are still in love by telling you that for sure you will be back in the saddle in no time when in fact that is their plan. You will just sit there and hope while they will be to busy with the next one.
That's how people are and you will feel so frustrated about being accused of exactly what they are doing but there is an important lesson for you to be learned:
Because you have been opened and honest you've been hurt and that's not true. You must be true to yourself and never treat anybody like this because what goes around comes back around. You've been hurt because those persons had their own insecurities and it's easier to think something bad about a good person in order to justify to yourself your actions.
Don't do to others what others did to you.
Don't do to others what you wouldn't like to be done to you.
Have expectations, they are good, the right person will try to reach those expectations as you will have achievable expectations that will make the other a better person for themselves in the first place and for you as a couple in the second one.
Fall in love with the others' struggles in being a better person for her/him and for you. Support the struggle, achieve the expectations together, that's how love should sound.
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