For the past few days I have been thinking about writing this post and the only thing that was coming to my mind was the fact that the title should express the fuckening. You know that moment when you understand. Of course, ironic, because I still don't understand anything, but at least I am trying. Well, it's not like I have at least 5 started topics that I didn't finish and most probably never will as I am not reading what I am writing and it would be impossible to continue writing something that I don't recall what was all about.
I was talking today with a friend from childhood and while we were talking about what happened in our lives lately out of a sudden I said that today I am going to write something. His first comment was, bro please change the background as you are making it impossible to read in one take:)))) muahaha, hopefully, i will not forget by the end and change to something nice ;)
Enough with the chit-chat, I did my evening/night park walk and cleared my soul ( we don't want any hate here ), created the playlist ( a bit of The Motans, a bit of Adam, a bit of Satoshi), grabbed the rum bottle and here we go. I have no clue where it goes, and it's not like ever knew, but let's see.
Note: it might be a second part to the dating post or to any other ones, we will see.
After I had last year a dating marathon i calmed down towards the end of the year trying to find hope again as I am telling you it kind of takes its toll on you. But there were some conclusions to be taken from there or like all the self-thought psychologists say, some lessons to be learned. Honestly, I don't know what your kink is but trust me that life is an endless string of lessons. Life is meant to be lived, and you are meant to love and be loved. Simple.
Note: what i am writing are my own experiences or first-hand experiences from both women and men.
I observed a clear distinction between people who come from broken/dysfunctional families and people who still have their parents getting along and getting old together. the first category doesn't want kids, they don't believe in marriage and they have a tendency to not believe in love anymore. People, it's your parent's story, not yours, and if you are going to therapy for such a long time already, what the fuck are you doing there? The human is a social animal and we are not meant to be alone. And loneliness when you get old it's not cool at all as my aunt says. In the second category, they still have beautiful souls or at least they are trying. I was talking a while back with a friend and he told me that he doesn't want ever to get married as he doesn't know even one example of people who didn't divorce including his parents. It blocked me and the only thing that I was able to say after a couple of minutes was: these are their stories why don't you write yours?
Oh, i see, in this generation we build or life and future based on what we see around us. Me stupid.
I've met quite a few girls who focused on school, career, and travel all their twenties and a big chunk of their thirties. Now in their late thirties, some realize that they want a relationship. Hooray for you honey. But please be realistic as it will be really hard for you. You cannot say at 37-38 that you believe in taking a couple of years to get to know somebody before you move in together or something more serious. My dear, time is not on your side. Around the same age, you cannot say " I want a kid someday " Biology and that boat sailed a while ago. Be open, live, love, and go with the flow, you will not die or lose all your precious possessions. As for having a baby, fingers crossed and I truly pray to God that this happens.
Oh, I see, in this generation we lost the capacity to take care of both professional and personal life and we should organize everything in stages. Me stupid.
Note: though ones now.
You were in high school or university and you thought you'd found the love of your life and then surprise years later, usually in your thirties, you divorced. Honey live a little and then settle down, otherwise, success stories are so rare. Having this in mind what is the sense in going around and saying that all men are assholes or all women are bitches and there are no real men out there or good women. My dear you didn't even meet a man or a woman for once in your life so that you could have a baseline for comparison, you just took a boy or a girl and you both grew up together and evolved differently. It's nobody to be blamed here.
Oh, I see, it's easier to label everybody for your misfortune. Me stupid.
I had my fair share of disappointment but I always acknowledged my part in it all and I have never judged new people based on old people.
You spent your twenties as the favorite toy of a rich guy. You enjoyed all the free trips and presents and expensive restaurants. And now in your thirties, you ask for the same without learning the most precious lesson that whoever buys you will always replace you with the newer model. Sounds harsh but it's the reality. Families are built together not by two people in all aspects.
Oh, I see, you deserve an easy life because you've built your character not in hard moments but in Bali retreats and Dubai trips. Me stupid.
I've heard lately of so-called men who mistreat their girlfriends/wives. They don't speak nice with them and in some cases even beat them. Wtf, I feel offended when you call these assholes men. I will never be able to understand a boy who when he breaks up speaks so awful about his ex. I will never understand a boy who got engaged and when they break up he asks for the ring back. I will never understand a boy who gets married and when they divorce he wants the bigger chunk not even equality. I heard the other day a wonderful quote: A boy raised in comfort never becomes a man. And somehow you ladies keep choosing them on and on again till it's too late. I heard lines like he was from a good family, he had a good material condition, and so on. But honey what about his character? did you ever feel that he would walk through fire for you? But then again this happens when you look at the wrong things.
Oh, I see, it was very comfortable or he was toxic, and you lack the human will to look at what matters most in a human being. Me stupid.
Note: we get to the controversial part.
Wrongly understood feminism, we want equality but my partner should earn more than me. Somebody, anybody please explain this to me. You hate Andrew Tate because he is a misogynist when he says that the place of women is at home taking care of the house and raising kids. You love Andrew Tate when he says that the men must provide. Sorry to say but you cannot have the best of both worlds. Feminism is about respect and equal rights but this goes both ways. As I said a few lines above, if he buys you he will replace you later with the new model and families are built together not separate. Both sexes are going through the same hustle so we should be more respectful and kind to one another. We should look at character and effort if we want to see how the future will play out.
Oh, I see, 100 roses bought by somebody who could buy 10.000 are more beautiful than one rose bought by someone with his last money. Me stupid.
Note: 3rd glass of rum so now I can open up and this for sure applies to both sexes.
Hard pills to swallow:
- no we don't need a conversation to establish that we are in a relationship. When two people kiss they are together as you know it's called cheating if you are in a relationship and you kiss whoever you want when you want. We can not just go around and fuck around till we have the talk. Or it's something like we are fuck friends till we decide that we want more which again it's so stupid. You don't have enough energy to invest somewhere and help it grow if your energy is split in multiple directions. It will never work.
- there is no such thing as a situationship. A mature person calls it fear of commitment. You can't go for a walk in the park meet by accident some friends and say she/he is my situation.
- exchanging messages and heart emoticons with other women/men it's called cheating if your partner doesn't know about it
- staying in close contact with an ex it's disrespectful toward your current partner as you share very intimate moments and secrets with that ex that now you are sharing with your current partner. No she/he is not an extraordinary person and you must stay friends. The only situation that is acceptable is having a kid or a business and it will be a road with bumps don't expect smooth roads.
- going to therapy doesn't mean that you have it all figured out
- nobody is healed, ever
- emotional intelligence it's not the same as intelligence
- being successful it's not the same thing with kindness
- communication is the most important activity you will ever do
- no vacation will save a shitty relationship as no ring ever did
And the list could go on and on but honestly, I am tired and disappointed. I am looking around and day by day experience by experience, story by story I see less and less souls but more and more people. I cannot even tell you how many times I was argued, laughed off, and so on by just saying that I date to marry not to pass time.
To the extraordinary women and men out there who know what they want and state it clearly, never lose yourself. To the others, I hope you don't multiply, and if you do God save us.
Oh, I see, Me Stupid, because I still believe in love, respect, kindness, finding the one, and building a family.
No comments:
Post a Comment