giv(er)

In a world where everyone is focused on individual freedom I choose to dream about freedom in two. I understand that love is freedom and not a prison. Because, you see, opening your soul and mind gives you first of all courage to do things you never thought you will do, it gives you wings of confidence. When you choose to love openly and honestly despite any potential outcome that your fears see, despite any outside comments, despite the posibility that it will not be reciprocated, despite the posibility that it will be wellcomed with a harsh reaction, and so on, in fact you will give and by giving you will actually feel good. Yes I agree that sometimes you will feel at your worst and might even hit a very bad depression but this is just a possibility, the chances are always 50-50. When you offer your love and compassion first of all it's your choice and when you offer it, it makes you feel better and you have a 50-50 chance of answer. You can never know. You don't smile because you want people to smile back, it would be nice but that's about them. You shouldn't say "I love you" because you want to hear it back, it would be extraordinary but in fact you say it because that's what you feel and by simply saying it your body already filled with a bunch of crazy feeling good hormones. By giving you are in fact giving to yourself waiting for the positive outcome, and that only intensifies to incredible heights the feeling good state. 

While transitioning to the dark side I think it's mandatory to understand that there is a very thin line here. 

You must, and it's a baseline requirement, pay attention to others needs also. The sense of fulfilment it's acquired by being useful, and you can be useful by giving also what is needed and required. I dare to deep dive and provide a couple of examples. A dentist who chosen his career path out of passion will feel fulfilment when he is helping a pacient by giving them what they need not what he wants. A good mechanic it's the one that does his job out of passion and will fix the problem you have with your car and sees other problems the car might have, despite a bad one who will start trying to convince you that you need a new paint or a tunning and so on. You are in a relationship and you both come from work after a long day one of you might need a long hug while the other might need a long kiss, between 2 people there is a delicate dance of putting your partner needs above yours, but if she needs a hug? Give that hug don't give her a tap on the back because that's what you want to give. I know all this stuff it's hard to be done when you are going through a hard period but take a stept back, take a break, calibrate, think about what you feel for the other and try harder and better. Like the saying goes, the grass is greener on the other side becuase they water it.

Reaching the dark side, don't play the saint card because we all have it. Good people do bad stuff also, just so you know in case nobody said it. I think what makes a person better is admitting and coming to peace that he did something bad and trying to fix it and learning not to ever do it again and that's why people need chances and feedback. It's commonly known fact that it's easier to do something bad than something good. Following the above, if you choose to give only what you want (thin line again, there's a difference between what you want - the brain, and what you can - the heart) instead of what is needed you are more likely to be selfish as you are only satisfying your need to give and you don't care about the need to be received on the other end. You want to do something nice for someone and in your way home you decide to stop by the candy store and buy something sweet for them, till here is your need, choosing to buy a random cookie or the cookie they like it's the difference between caring about their needs also or not. A complete circle gives maximum joy to both participants. Deviated a bit, we all have moments when we feel attacked and up to a certain point you can face it with kindness (depending on how much you worked with yourself) but from that point we start attacking also, and that's the key to a total shitstorm from which some recover or some give up. It's normal to have this, we all need to learn how to fight, when you reach the boiling point take a break, breath and open your mouth with kindness. I know, I know it's hard but this is a constant in life and we need to learn how to navigate through it. Let's attack the very worse of the worse, when you are suffering. All of us in stage one we are throwing all the blame on the other, the secret is to move in the next stage and try to understand what you did also that might have triggered all those reactions. I am not saying to take the blame on yourself, NO, i am just saying to look at the both sides of the story, there are always 2.  You will through shit and say mean things and some people will also do mean stuff (shitty ones) but you must move past this point and try to understand the process of action and reaction and how this happens in each mind based on his values, experiences and so on. In most of the cases people didn't do you wrong because they are bad, they did it because at that moment it's the only way they know how to respond. It's hard to take responsibility for some shit you did but it's the only way you can become better you as a human being. If in the process you are lucky enough to find a person who decides they want to do the same you will find yourself in the process of buidling a fantastic relationship, be it a romantic one or a friendship one.

Give, Receive and I hope you will choose to stay when everybody goes away. Trust me it's the shitiest advice possible if you judge with your mind but put some soul in to it and you will see unfold in front of you and inside you a brand new world filled with fantastic experiences. You will equally smile and cry and as a paradox this will make you feel both of them to the maximum, you can't have one without the other.